Naked Mommy Diaries - The Naked Truth About Parenting is a diversion from domestic life and keeps me from looking at bad stuff on the internet. I will be sharing my experiences - good and bad - as I navigate the journey of parenthood. Also expect a lot of new mommy angst, talk about shit - real and random, rants about stupid people, Terrible Two's Bitch-Fests, and unprofessional advice.
Disclaimer: My language isn't clean and I think filters are for coffee. You have been forewarned.
The Naked Family: K, K, M and Em.
K is me and the other K is my husband, which could be confusing, so you can call me Naked Mommy. Before the kids, I could best be summed up as banana granola: a half-white, half-Asian girl that loves the outdoors. There's less hiking and no backpacking happening at this point in time, but we hope to resume when the kids are bigger. For now, I keep out of trouble attempting to write a blog, studying Spanish, baking and planning activities for the little munchkins. We like going for walks and bike rides and doing crafts as well as going on outings to the zoo, farm, library or mall.
K is like me with respect to the love of the outdoors, but dissimilar in that he is very, very sane (that is a compliment). He is my sounding board and lets me know when I've gone too far but still laughs at all the stupid things I say. He is my favorite person and the best Dad a kid could ask for. Some day I'll tell you how we met and all that cool stuff.
M and Em are our daughters and they're both tswarpers, little creatures with the ability to warp time and space. I will likely create more words to properly describe them since common words don't do them justice. Until I have my own language, here are some bio bits for the most important little people in our lives:
M is definitely two and is a woppin' 23 pounds soaking wet, but ready to take on the world. She has a year's experience bossing the boys at daycare. Her grandma says she's 'nasty' (as in tough, not trashy), she won't do anything she doesn't want to and she can drop the F-bomb like nobody's business. That's my girl! Of course, she's gorgeous and smart too. She would make an awesome spy or Bond girl later in life - like in 30 years - but I don't want her screwing 007 types, or anyone for that matter. Sheesh, stop thinking about it, pervert! Let's let her grow up.
Em is a chill baby. Although she looks more like me than M, I think she'll take after Dad temperament-wise; she is easygoing and smiles lots. At 4 months, she already has loads of personality, can roll across the room, and loves to chat. She's been an easy baby but of late thinks that naps are for suckers and sleeping through the night is overrated. I thought I was gonna get to skip sleep training with this one, but alas, it looks like I'll have to start soon. On the sunny side, if you can get by on less sleep, you can be way more productive. She could be a triple threat - I wonder what her talents will be!
That's us! Here's to family! Ching ching! <glasses clinking or slang for male genitals in Japanese, whatever you fancy>