March 17, 2012

Adventures in Transit, Alligator Riding, and Highchair Wars

After some time off, I've linked up once again with The Mommyhood Chronicles for Saturday's Top Five Laughs. After you've read mine, go visit Mel at the Mommyhood Chronicles for more funnies
  1. Adventures on Transit, Part 1: Yesterday, getting onto the train was like entering the Twilight Zone. First of all, the car was half empty - completely bizarre for rush hour, even on a Friday. I soon discovered the reason: the other end of the car was populated by half a dozen smelly and completely intoxicated homeless guys. Since they didn't seem to be causing any trouble, I stayed in the car, but stayed near the door just in case. Moments later, there was shouting from the other end of the car at about the same time sirens came screaming down the street. Turns out, the homeless dudes' buddy had overdone it (drugs, alcohol, I'm not sure which), had passed out on a bench across the tracks from us and was being checked out by police and the fire truck and ambulance were on their way. The man came to, thankfully, so his friends promptly clapped and slapped each other on the back. They then did their civic duty and announced to everyone, "And that's why you don't do crack." I dunno... maybe you had to be there. I found it pretty funny. 
  2. Adventures on Transit, Part 2: Same day, two stops down the line, I'm shaken from my reverie by pounding on the window. A young, well-dressed man was banging on the window inches from my head, shouting and making kissy faces. Not sure if it was mistaken identity, a dare, or the new way 20 year olds hit on stick my tongue out at him, but instead, I made a "Who, Me?" gesture, shook my head, then pointed at the very gay looking (and asleep) guy beside me and gave the thumbs up. The Outside Dude was like, "No way!" and the train pulled away.
  3. Adventures on Transit, Part 3: Same day, 3 stops down the line, I look up to see an Asian man in his 50s wearing a black ball cap with "Three Some Thursdays" printed on it in white block letters. I don't think he spoke English...
  4. High Chair Wars: Naked Baby has had enough of being the little one being picked on all the time, so she instigates crap with her sister. At dinner the other night, she tried to grab Naked Girl's fork. She would reach over as far to the left as she could, while sweeping her hand across Naked Girl's tray, then abruptly pull away as far to the right as she could so Naked Girl couldn't smack her. She did this several times - we were watching and laughing, parent fail award, I know - until we pulled their high chairs further apart. The whole time Naked Baby had an evil grin on her face. Poor Naked Girl was pissed off. Naked Baby also has a feisty way of telling you she's done eating. Rather than say "All done" like her sister did at the same age, she will angrily hurl food and dishes on the floor. It isn't enough to throw what she has, either. We've made the mistake of offering her something else when she does this (thinking she doesn't like her food), and she will grab the spoon from you and throw it on the floor. Same goes for sippy cups. Thank goodness for Corelle and plastic dishes!
  5. Naked Girl-isms: Naked Girl has an amazing vocabulary for her age and can tell you lengthy stories with perfect grammar, but still like any toddler, has words that don't come out right, or uses the wrong word for certain things. We aren't too strict on correcting her 'cause it's so darn cute! Our favorites as of late are: "What's yogurt (Gilbert, Caillou's cat) doing, Mommy?", "Can I make baby's hair like a porcukine (porcupine)?", and "Can we ride in the alligator (elevator)?" I think we're going to officially re-name elevators in our family. Alligator riding sounds so much more exciting!
Have you had any adventures on public transit lately?


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