January 12, 2012

Someone Stole My Sing-a-ma-jig

My daughter left her Sing-a-ma-jig in a ride at the mall and that was the last time we saw it. Let me back up a bit, though. First of all, no, we didn't spend two bucks to let her ride in the Princess carriage. Naked Girl is still letting us get away with shaking rides while she sits in them or telling her the ride is broken, though she is starting to suspect we're holding out on her. Anyways, she had such a blast on her fake ride that she left her freaky-ass alien friend behind.

Here is a Sing-a-ma-jig thing-a-ma-jig in case you were wondering
When we realized Naked Girl was Sing-a-ma-jig-less, based on the absence of weird sounds coming from the stroller (other than the usual whining and farting), we were on the other side of the mall and of course the mall was closing, so we left without the pink demon (it's seriously creepy how you can make it sing and move its mouth but it sings "So Long!" on its own without moving its mouth).

The next time we were there, a few weeks later, we were confident that her toy would be at the Lost & Found. That close to closing time, surely the cleaners would turn it in, right? Well, they never got the chance because some asshole scooped it. The super high-tech lost and found system had no record of any pink stuffed toy turned in around the dates we were there. It's not like it was Naked Girl's only toy, but it was a well-loved gift from her aunt and uncle, so she was disappointed to hear the toy really was gone... especially since I took her to Lost & Found telling her it would be there. I had to explain to Naked Girl that there are "bad people" in the world that take things that aren't theirs, just like Swiper the Fox on Dora.  And yes, the bad people are on Santa's naughty list and sometimes the police even catch them and put them in jail. And yes, sweetie, jail is like a long time out with lots of other bad people (I didn't explain the bad things the bad people do to each other in prison. That will be for when she's older to deter her from being a bad person.). She took it all in very seriously and then said, "Bad people need a time out! Can we go to the play place now?"

Swiper the fox, sneaky little bastard
Boo for thieving losers. At least we had a teachable moment and I can take solace in the fact that the opportunistic losers that swiped my kid's toy will most certainly be infected with bum germs, colds and ringworm 'cause that's how we roll. Dad is the master of biohazardous bum rags and bum germs and the kids are purveyors of other fine germs.

How did you explain stealing to your kids?


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