October 31, 2011

What Must The Neighbours Think (alternate title: I need to stop swearing in front of the kids)

Here is a real conversation I had with M and K this morning:
(Context: We're all dressed up to go to a birthday party and M thinks Daddy needs a wand because she has a princess wand.)

There's the wand and then there's The F*$king Wand
M: Daaaaaaddy, where's your f*$king wand?
NM: M, what did you just say?
M: Where's Daddy's f*$king wand?
NM: <stifling laughter>
M: Where's your f*$king wand, Daddy? Do you have it?
NM: Daddy's upstairs, M. <shouting> Honey, M's asking you something.
K: <shouting from upstairs> What?!
NM: M's asking you something! Go ahead, sweetie.
M: <shouting> Where's your f*$king wand, Daddy?
K: What?
NM: Where's your f*$king wand?
K: My f*$king what?
NM: Your f*$king wand.
K: <now at the top of the stairs looking bewildered> What are you guys talking about?
NM: M wants to know where your f*$king wand is.
K: I don't know, I don't have one.


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