September 18, 2011

Ridiculous Conversations with Two Year Olds: Discovering Body Differences

Scene: M is sitting in my lap and suddenly grabs my boobs.

M: Mommy's bobos are in there. <grabbing her own chest> Are my bobos in there?
Me: Yes, M's booby's are in there.
M: Is there milk in my bobos?
Me: No, no milk.
M: Daddy have milk in his bobos?
Me: No, only mommies have milk in their boobies.
M: I can have it too. Look, Mommy! <puts Elmo on her chest> Elmo having milk from my bobos. Want some more, Elmo?

Scene: My friend is changing her son's diaper and M sees his penis.

M: Ew! <looks away, then looks again> Yuck! Disgusting, Mommy. 
(Here's hoping she feels that way for the next 20 years.)

Scene: M and I are in the shower. She just noticed that we don't look the same down there. 

M: <pointing at my crotch> Oh! Uh oh! Messy! What happened?
Me: It's not messy, that's just hair. Mommy hasn't had a bikini wax in a while.
M: <staring> Oh... Messy! Need wash it, Mommy?
Me: Yes, but the hair doesn't come off with soap.
M: Doesn't come off? Why? What happened? Fix it, Mommy! <thinking> Daddy can fix it! 
Me: <laughing> Mommy will fix it herself when she has time.
M: I don't like it, Mommy. Too messy.

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