9/19/2011

Disney Hates Parents

At our last family dinner, I was telling everyone how I'd started using the TV as a part-time babysitter (Don't judge, you do it too! Anyways it's only for a few minutes while I put Em down for a nap.) and had let M watch Finding Nemo without realizing what a fucking scary movie it is. Holy colossal parent fail! Poor little M had nightmares for a few nights after watching it - screaming, crying, shaking and clinging to Daddy nightmares. Which part exactly made her shit her pants? Hmm.. let me think...

  1. Was it the barracuda killing Nemo's mom in the opening scene (and eating all his brothers and sisters as eggs) 
  2. Was it the sharks? Which one? There were fucking THREE of 'em! (fucking three not three fucking, cos then it would be an R-rated flick)
  3. Or was it the stinging jellyfish, pelicans, seagulls or fishing net all out to get the fishies? 
My brother-in-law hardly batted an eye and said, "Don't you know that Disney hates parents?" and we started thinking of Disney movies in which one or both parents die:
  • Bambi
  • The Lion King
  • The Jungle Book
  • Lilo and Stitch
  • The Little Mermaid
And then I completed the list thanks to Wikipedia:
  • The Hunchback of Notre Dame
  • Brother Bear
  • The Fox and the Hound
  • Atlantis: The Lost Empire
  • Tarzan
Just do a search for "Disney movies where parents die" if you don't believe me. I understand that some movies, such as Lion King, have long been touted as excellent learning tools in teaching the Circle of Life, but I don't really need my kids traumatized in their beds because they think barracudas and sharks are gonna get them. I guess Caillou and Sesame Street will be making more money off of me since I can trust them to not disturb my kids' sleep!

Can you remember the scariest movie you saw as a kid? For me, it was Jaws - that damn movie ruined water sports for me for years. I know that isn't a kids' movie (we weren't supposed to be watching it) but it just goes to show that my parents did something right. Since I've learned my lesson and M is too young to remember the movie, does that mean I can still be the perfect mom? No, but I can keep dreaming and  dreams are oh so much better than nightmares. 

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